From Precious
January, 2010
The Jaw Dropping Column from Chelsea Black
The Interview
So today started out like every other; me on the tube into work, contemplating a life committed to my electric blanket and finding Hubby no 2.
A day of interviews loomed and grabbing fruit from the café on the way to work I contemplated how I, Chelsea , could be stuck in some administration job as opposed to working in a fabulous industry with a precious wardrobe and a personal assistant to run errands for me. OK, I just lied to you my precious. I had a McDonald’s breakfast; a double sausage and egg meal and an extra hash brown. But I did order water as the drink.
I sat on a panel and watched people sweat and laugh nervously in ill-fitting suits whilst I planned an ensemble for a date later that week. I was leaning towards a little black dress with a pink gash, but realised that it might not forgive me my winter 'pig-out' weight.
Then, just as I was losing the will to live, I saw him through the glass partition right in front of me…my future husband and father of my kids. Just walking into the reception. He was hot. He was wearing a Hugo Boss Suit. He looked a little shorter than I had expected but he had finally arrived! But surely the universe wouldn’t be so kind as to bring him here for me? He couldn’t be here in the same building as me to interview for a job in my team could he?
I quickly rushed to the bathroom to strategise. I could ask who he was at reception, but the security guard was a little deaf and had a tendency to shout. So, I did what any self respecting single girl would do in this situation. I sent out a prayer to every religion and non religion: 'Please, if you let this hot hunk be the next interviewee I will not eat McDonalds breakfasts for a week...ok a month.'. I then pulled down my neck-line for a little extra cleavage and took off the ill fitting cardigan to ….accentuate my African-ness.
I walked out and he smiled and I melted. All those weeks of chanting had finally brought him to me in the most unlikely of guises: As a potential employee to boss around at my every whim.
As I led him up to the interview room, I asked him if the journey in had been alright. He explained that he had come in from Luton. Admittedly my sashay lost a little sway as I stumbled, but then he smiled and all was well with the world again
For about 20 minutes I lived the dream. Sadly I won't be seeing him again. His inability to blag or provide examples of his skills rules him out as an employee or life partner. So I write this my precious, from McDonalds where in the spirit of New Years resolutions I only ordered one hash brown. See - I’m learning - Happy 2010!
Want more of Chelsea?..archives over here.
Send us your comments on Chelsea Black's column with "Chelsea" in the subject to : comments@preciousonline.co.uk
Your say:
Chelsea, you’re dirty, but delicious!
Jen, London
LOL!!I love my butt as much as you do Chelsea. Sophia, Manchester
This column is too funny. There needs to be more of it on a regular basis, PLEASE. Chantal, (A Brit girl living in Miami)
Has Chelsea emigrated? Missing her work! Shirley, East London
Where is Chelsea? I love this column I want more!! Charli, Newham
Chelsea Black…your column ...absolutely fabulous! I am dying to read more, when is the book out? If City Boy can do it, so can you! Michelle, London
I am not South African, Black, or even a women. Nor do I live in London, but
I love Chelsea Black. Please keep the articles coming.
Alan Miami, USA
Please update this column more ...monthly is not enough, thx Claudia
W
hen are you going to unmask her...Paul,
London
I love this column. Chelsea sounds like the girl I have been hiding inside me for ages! Keep up the great work Precious and Chelsea! Sonia x
just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the new column you have for social chatter. I thought it was funny, upbeat, modern and easy to relate to. Is this a new regular feature? I hope so, I'm enjoying the online read for this magazine the features from Precious are so interesting, keep it up! Kind regards Jacqui